Have you ever felt very friendly when going out, wanted to meet new people and felt that people are glad when you initiate a chat with them ? And on some other night you found yourself sitting aside quietly and scared of what people might think if you start talking to them ?
One of the most important aspects of social interaction when going out is the state you’re in. By state I mean how do you feel about yourself and how comfortable you feel about talking to strangers in a given moment.
If you get to the event feeling friendly, positive and self confident and start talking to everybody around you even if you don’t want to befriend them you will get into a positive state, feel talkative and will want to talk to strangers on your own.
On the other hand, Feeling pessimistic about the evening and about going out, and thinking “I don’t like these guys, I’ll talk to someone I like later” will get you deep into your thoughts and will make it much harder for you to initiate a chat later.
The advantage of feeling social is that the feeling will only grow as the evening goes by, you will enjoy the evening more every minute, the same is for not feeling social, the more you get into your world, the more will it be harder for you to come out later.
So, how do you make sure you become social and talkative every time you go out ?
- Come optimistic and self confident from home – think positive thoughts about the evening. A lot depends on self confidence and optimism. If you’ll come from home thinking bad thoughts they will probably become true because it will be reflected on your behavior. People can feel if you are in a good mood in a second and usually will prefer to talk to someone who is.
- Talk to everybody – even people you don’t want to be friends with, it will make you talkative and maybe you will meet someone you do like or will be introduced to one by them. You can’t expect to be shy the whole evening and then start talking to the hottest girl around. Sometimes it is even better talking to people you are not feel threatened by in the beginning of the evening to feel friendly and confident.
- Don’t have too high expectations when going out – if you stick to the outcome you won’t enjoy the evening and you won’t get what you wanted either. If it will be a successful pickup night, great. if not, there will be thousands nights more in your future. When you get home analyze what happened and how can you get better and try again tomorrow. If you make it a big deal, it becomes a big deal. Go out to enjoy, have fun and meet new people and not to pursue a specific result.
Most important : Be self confident and optimistic. it will make you feel better and the people around you to like you more, same goes for pickup and for life in general.
